By Tuesday Rivera To make the most of this article, please first read The Risk of Feeling Safe. There I explored how "not feeling safe" has become a habit for many of us—a psychological and spiritual pattern that keeps us from real, deep transformation, our own and the world's.
Now let's consider what it looks like when we risk feeling safe. When might we face this choice? What might be happening for us as we take this risk? And what words might help us make the leap? Of course, we might take the risk to feel safe at any moment. But I want to talk about three particular times when it comes up: at a beginning, when it's time to claim a truth, and in endings. Allowing a Beginning When something new is happening in our lives - a burgeoning relationship, a new client or fresh project, any kind of door opening - we can feel especially at risk. And since we're going to feel at risk anyway, I suggest that we consider taking the risk of feeling safe. To risk feeling safe as we place our foot on a new path really changes what we're able to walk into, what we're able to accept, and how much newness we'll allow. It changes both the scale of what we do and the felt experience of the new beginning coming our way. Let me give a personal example.
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By Tuesday Rivera  A colleague and I recently supported a group of women in a "Wilderness Wander” - a day of fasting and exploring the land in a remote area of Maine.
In our council circle after the women's solo time on the land, I heard myself say to one of the women, "I want to thank you, not for the risk you took in going out into the wilderness. I think the real risk you took was the risk of allowing yourself to feel safe." The room stopped. There was a collective intake of breath. "Can you say that again?" someone asked. "The real risk you took was the risk to feel safe," I repeated. "We don't often let ourselves do that: feel safe." In fact, we almost never let ourselves do that. And of course, there are good reasons for that. The world is a scary place at all times, but especially now. And the world is certainly scarier for some people, especially now. I do not deny or ignore that. But we've become so focused on the language and practice of "feeling safe" that we've come to believe the safety we're seeking is outside of us. That we must feel safe at all times to do what needs to be done in the world. That our bodies must be in a certain state of rest for us to be okay.(1) And I want that! I want well-regulated bodies living in a just world. It's just that we don't have much of that right now. And I've come to see that we're wearing our "I don't feel safe" as a badge of honor—a way of signaling to others that we're awake to what's really happening around us. After all, how could we feel safe when the world is burning? That would be absurd. To feel safe would be to deny our awareness of the very real suffering around us and the risk to so many people in the world. To not feel safe is to be a just, caring person...not a neurotic, self-obsessed one. But I wonder: where did this expectation of feeling safe come from? |
TUESDAY RIVERAHello there! This resource page is a space for me to share inspiration, insight, and connection. Here, I’ll offer reflections and practical guidance related to personal transformation, intuitive practices, and embracing the divine feminine as well as other topics that have my attention. Whether you’re seeking insight, a bit of encouragement, or tools for transformation, I hope you find meaningful content here to guide your journey. CategoriesArchives
May 2026
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